Power of the Gods
by MickDunD
Summary: Three things that you can count on to intervene: fate, accidents, and immortality. When three members Atatsuki cheat death, they are hurled into the distant future to take part in a strange competition called the Sekirei Plan. What will they do? How will they react? And will Hidan ever learn to shut up? 'Don't know, un. DeidaraXFlock, ObitoxFlock, HidanxFlock.
1. Chapter 1

**MickDunD here with my newest story. I've been watching Sekirei lately, as well as brushing up on my Naruto. And for some reason, my favorite characters, the Akatsuki kept popping into my head. Mix that with the Sekirei, the plot goblins, and the constant stream of Eminem that I've been blasting straight into my ears made me write this. Basically, a few lucky members of the Akatsuki escape death and end up in the future thanks to two accidents with Space-Time Ninjutsu and one loudmouth Jashinist's immortality. Besides, there are no AkatsukixSekirei fics out there, so this is long overdue in a way. So read and review and enjoy. If I do something right, tell me. If you have a suggestion for a Sekirei harem, tell me. Or if you're just bored and you need somebody to bitch to, tell me!**

**Enjoy!**

Obito POV

I smiled as I watched Naruto charge towards me, Rasengan outstretched and aimed at my remaining Rinnegan eye. We had to destroy it before Madara could get it. Without it, then they would be able to kill him again. Black Zetsu tried to force me to dodge it, but I resisted him. I needed to make things right. Everything I had done in Madara's name needed to be fixed. I was too weak from sealing the Juubi into myself and then releasing the sealed Bijuu again right now to help the reanimated Hokage fight him personally, but there was a way I could weaken him: by dying and taking the remaining Rinnegan with me and Black Zetsu.

_Kakashi…Minato-sensei…Rin,_ I thought as the swirling mass of chakra neared my head. _I'm sorry for everything I've done. Maybe this is how I'll redeem myself?_

Suddenly, Black Zetsu wrested control of my body away from me and forced all my chakra into my empty right eye socket. The hollow pit in my face burned horribly but I watched as a swirling vortex appeared right over the socket. Somehow, Zetsu must have activated my Kamui, trying to suck the jutsu in before it could hit me. How he was doing it without my eye, I didn't know. Maybe he was using the First Hokage's healing abilities to rebuild my eye?

The blue ball of chakra warped into the space-time vortex for a moment before I poured every single bit of willpower into a lunge, throwing my body into the jutsu and forcing it into my face over my left eye. The Rasengan hit me and I felt it tear through my skull. It didn't hurt that much because a literal second after I felt it touch my skin everything I felt everything vanish in a huge flash of light before everything went black. I felt myself warp into my own Kamui, a strange cold prickling into my skin and a weight pressing down on my chest, forcing the air out of me and into the vacuum of death.

Takami's POV

"Shit," I said as I looked at the reports about Karasuba's latest mission. Ten insurgents killed in addition to the one hundred innocent men, women, and children who had "gotten in her way." I hated this part of my job, the part that made me want to drown myself in a whisky bottle after seeing it. I became a doctor so I could try and help people out, but all I was doing now was overseeing a madman command a monster onto the innocent masses.

I grabbed my temple as a headache started coming on and started thinking about something else.

_The stem cells think about the stem cells, Takami,_ I told myself.

Using some of the technology that we had taken from the Sekirei Ship, MBI had just perfected flash-stem-cell-cloning, which would once again revolutionize medical science. We could now grow people new organs and appendages in a matter of minutes just from a single strand of DNA. Although so far we had only grown small things like hands and legs for army veterans or car accident victims. Secretly I was wishing for a way to test out much larger transplants, but I didn't want anyone to get injured that badly.

My eyes widened for a moment as suddenly the ground shook violently as if there was an earthquake. I dismissed it as nothing. After all, this was Japan, the land where a day without earthquakes came once in a blue moon. But to my surprise the shaking only intensified to the point where my computer fell off my desk. That was impossible. MBI Tower had been built with the leading earthquake-proof architecture.

"Um, Takami?" asked Number 88 from the examination table. "Why is the ground moving?"

"It's nothing, Musubi," I said. "It'll go away in a moment, just relax."

"Okay!" she said in a happy voice. "Musubi will be good!"

Suddenly the air around me shimmered and danced about as if it was solid. Then it began to warm and spin around in a circle, originating around a single focal point in the ceiling like a whirlpool in the middle of the air. It was like a tiny black hole surrounded by its own personal hurricane. Whatever it was, it was giving off a strange energy, blowing her hair around as all the light lose objects in the room hurtled towards its center. She watched as a black spot opened up at the center of the vortex, twisting around into a strange figure. Then the tearing sound started…and then the screaming.

Parts of the figure tore off in the force of the vortex and disappeared in the middle of the air, ground to particles by the sheer power of whatever the hell was going on. As each piece tore off, the figure's screaming got louder and louder until it finally stopped and she could see what the hell was making such a bloodcurdling noise.

It was a man, probably in his early twenties. He was wearing a torn purple, high-collared, long sleeve mantle that splits down the lower half, but only one of his legs was showing from underneath. His face was horribly disfigured, mainly on the right side but it looked like an old wound that had scarred over. The left side of his face looked like he had pressed a belt-sander over his eye on full speed. He was missing both eyes, as well as his right arm. A closer look showed me that pretty much all of his right side was missing, like it had been torn off. Blood began to pool under his shredded clothes and a ragged breath tore from his lips. My jaw hit the floor. Someone with injuries like this should have died a second after he got them. The fact that he was still breathing amazed me.

I blinked and remembered my training.

"Musubi!" I called. "Get this man onto a stretcher! And for god's sake, be gentle with him!"

"O-okay," she said, picking up the strange man and putting him onto the stretcher that she had been brought into the adjustment room on.

Her feet dented the solid metal floor, as did all unadjusted Sekirei, but somehow the man in her arms was unharmed by her massive strength. A trail of blood dripped from his side as Musubi laid him on the stretcher. I pushed her out of the way and secured his body onto the gurney, shoving my lab coat against his bleeding side and tearing out the electrical cables from a nearby machine and tying them around his body to make a tourniquet or sorts. I wheeled him out of the room and into the hallway punching the first emergency call button that I could find.

"This is Dr. Sahashi!" I yelled into the speaker. "We have a level four casualty in the adjustment wing! Prep the examination room for surgery, and set up the flash-cloner, STAT!"

I yelled the last part so no one would think I was kidding. Musubi was following me as I pushed the gurney down the hallway towards the examination room. I burst inside and grabbed the nearest doctor.

"This man has had an accident," I told him. "Don't ask me what happened, because you don't want to know. Just stop the bleeding and see if we can't get him a new arm and leg."

"Right away, Dr. Sahashi," he said from underneath his surgical mask.

I left to the safety of the observation room as I got ready to scrub up and aid with the surgery, watching as they picked a strand of the man's hair and fed it into the flash-cloner. It would probably be ten minutes or so before the new arm and leg was ready for transplant. If he could hold out for ten minutes not only would he be the luckiest son of a bitch I had ever seen, but he would be the first to receive the full extent of MBI's newest medical science.

I spared a glance at the man as they fed a tube down his throat to keep him alive. Who was he? Where was he from? Did he have anything to do with that strange vortex that spit him out? I shook my head and pulled on a spare set of scrubs.

_I'll save his life first, _I thought. _Then I'll ask questions. _

Deidara POV (At the end of the battle with Sasuke Uchiha):

"This will be my ultimate piece of art!" I yelled as I fed the detonating clay into my chest mouth. "I'll explode…I shall die and become art itself! This will be like no explosion before it, and it will leave a scar upon the Earth unlike anything else. Then, my art will receive the admiration it's always deserved!"

I looked at him as his eyes widened. My ultimate art was almost complete! Soon it would detonate and I would finally kill him!

"Tremble! Be afraid! Recoil in despair! Cower in awe and cry your heart out!" I screamed a little crazy-ish as my body began to pull in on itself. "Because my art…"

The black ball that was now my body/art began to crack. From within it, I could still see everything that was going on outside. My breath hitched as I watched Itachi's little brother bit his thumbs and started weaving hand signs. I recognized them right away, a summoning jutsu! He was going to summon something to protect him from my art!

_No, it'll be too late, yeah,_ I grinned as the final crack appeared in the sphere. _There's no way that he'll be able to endure the blast. It'll last for a full five minutes straight! _

**_"Is an EXPLOSION!" _**I yelled as the sphere burst and unleashed my ultimate art.

As I exploded, my body slowly reformed back into its human form. It was a special technique that I had woven into my C0, something that would allow me to see what exactly my ultimate art would look like before I died along with the blast. I relished the feeling of becoming the true meaning of art. It was a heavenly feeling, being a mass of pure beauty and destruction like the world had never seen before. But then something went wrong. From within the explosion, I could feel a gap appear inside the blast, right where the Uchiha had been standing when I had detonated myself. He _had_ managed summon something to keep himself from being turned into art!

But before I could lament that my own death would be for nothing, I felt a strong pull on my body. It was almost as if I was being sucked away into the void made by the summoning jutsu. I yelled and fought against its pull as hard as I could. I wanted to become art; I wanted to become a fleeting explosion of beauty that fulfils its existence with a single bang! The light of my glorious explosion slowly died from my eyes before I found myself spinning around inside some kind of vortex. It was like the time that I had tried to blow up Tobi and he had used his freaky space-time jutsu on me. But all I could feel was an unbearable cold wearing down on me as well as a huge pressure on my lungs. I couldn't breathe and I started to panic. I knew that I had to be dead now, but the feeling of being choked forced me to fight back against the blackness.

Suddenly the cold feeling disappeared, along with the pressure on my chest. I sucked in a breath and pushed myself upright, my chest heaving as I blinked. The darkness clouding my vision vanished and I looked around.

I was sitting in the middle of a deep, wide, crater, which was still smoking from the explosion that had made it. Despite my surroundings, I was strangely unharmed, shirtless, and very much alive.

"What the hell, un?" I asked to no one in particular. "Where am I?"

My hands dug into the soft ground, pulling up a lump of dirty clay. _Well, at least I'm not unarmed, _I thought as I looked down at my singed pants and Shinobi sandals. _And at least I'm not naked. _

I checked my clay pouches and found that they were both relatively intact as well as empty. Quickly, I scooped up as much clay as I could and filled both pouches to the brim. I was very low on chakra, though…so there was no way for me to make my detonating clay yet. Besides, I had to figure out where the hell I was.

I climbed up the steep sides of the crater, my muscles aching with protest. I dragged myself out of the crater arm over arm, panting hard. Without my chakra, I was as weak as a kitten. A strange wailing sound reached my ears and I winced slightly at the sound.

"TOBI, SHUT UP, UN!" I reflexively yelled over my shoulder. "Huh?"

I looked behind me to see people wearing dark blue uniforms running at me, one of them two of them carrying a stretcher. They were really weird clothes, like something that might have come out of one of a manga or one of that stupid Sannin's porn books. I felt them grab me and force me down on the stretcher, talking over each other as they carried me out towards a big white machine.

"Wait, yeah!" I protested as a set of doors opened and people in white clothes took the stretcher. "What the hell is going on? Who are you? Where am I?"

"You're in Shinto Teito," said a woman as she looked over me. "Relax, you've just been through a traumatic event. So please just stay still, I promise that you're in good hands."

I felt something poke into my arm and suddenly my vision went blurry. I was so sleepy all the sudden, the sedative only boosting the feelings of my own exhaustion.

_Shinto Teito, huh?_ I thought as my eyelids fluttered shut. _I guess I'm still alive after all._

Hidan POV:

"OI! KAKUZU!" I yelled for the millionth time since I had been stuck down here. "THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE, YOU FUCKTARD! GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

I huffed in annoyance as there was no response. I didn't know what I had done to piss him off like this. Okay, okay, maybe I had shredded some of the money he had gotten for one of the heathens we had killed. Alright, fine, so I shredded all of it. I was sure that I hadn't been stuck down here that long. I mean, I had only managed to chew a little gap around my head so I could yell for help. This had happened to me before once, so I could tell that I had been here for only a few hours. Or maybe I had been down here for hundreds of years?!

"Eh, what the hell?" I grunted. I couldn't die so there was no need to worry. Someone was bound to hear my shouts and come find me. After that, it was time to go kill that pineapple-haired kid for putting me here.

"HELLO?" I screamed at the top of my voice. "CAN ANYONE FUCKING HEAR ME? KAKUZU! COME ON, KAKUZU…OLD FRIEND….PLEASE SEW MY BODY BACK TOGETHER! I'M NOT SORRY FOR SHREDDING YOUR FUCKING BLOOD MONEY IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY, BUT PLEASE PUT ME BACK TOGETHER? HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

Suddenly, the ground around me quaked hard and from above ground I could hear a loud "boom!" I reflexively shut my eyes to protect them from the falling dirt, which filled up the cavern that I had made around my head. I groaned. All that hard work destroyed by something that felt like…

"SHE-MALE?!" I yelled, my voice muffled by the dirt. "WHAT THE FUCK? I THOUGHT YOU DIED! OI, DEIDARA-CHAN! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS FUCKING HOLE! HELLO? I KNOW THAT WAS YOUR EXPLOSION, SO THERE'S NO USE HIDING! HELLO?"

I had a strange feeling that I would be getting out of here soon, so I just kept yelling at the top of my lungs, waiting for either that she-male or the miser to come and get my ass out of this Jashin-dammed hole. After that, it was time to get back to sacrifices!

**Okay, tell me how this was because I desperately want to know your opinions. Should I continue this? Or should I focus more on Organized Chaos? Or should I give equal amounts of time to each one? I don't know, so you guys have to be the ones who know! Now tell me or I'll**

**A) Kill you in the name of peace.**

**B) Turn you all into beautiful fleeting art**

**C) Turn you all into beautiful eternal art**

**D) Sacrifice your asses to Jashin-sama!**

**E) Shred you with Samehada**

**F) …Hn…**

**G) Give you to Sempai, because Tobi is a good boy!**

**H) You're not worth any money, so Hidan can have you. **

**I) We'll just eat you. ****_The one in Seattle looks delicious. _****I know, right? **


	2. Reunion and Reaction

Chapter 2: Reunion and Reaction

**Yeah, baby! Shady's back in town, **_**biiitch!**_** Oh, wait…wrong personality. Anyway, sorry this is out so late, I've had quarterly's and chemistry examinations, plus SAT tutors (Fuck the man who made those tests), and finally, I've made my debut onto the rap scene at my school's music festival. But the point is, I'm back with a new installment of Power of the Gods. I won't spoil anything, so you'll just have to read and find out! **

**Enjoy!**

Obito POV:

I slept better than I had in many, many years. For once, I didn't have nightmares about that day…the day that Rin died and I lost hope in the world. I was grateful for this peaceful sleep, since I was feeling better than ever before. I sighed and shifted around on the bed. Death was surprisingly comfortable, even for someone who had done as much evil as I had. When I realized the strangeness of that last thought, my eyes snapped open and I took in my surroundings. I was lying on a decently comfortable hospital bed in what looked like to be a hospital room. But it wasn't like one I had ever seen before. There were so many machines around the room, ones that I had never seen before. Some of them were computers, judging from the keyboards and monitors they had, but they looked so alien compared to the ones that I had seen before. Was I in one of Orochimaru's old bases? No, it seemed to clean to belong to that snake.

A door opened and a woman walked in. She seemed to be in her forties, with greying hair that hung low over her eyes. She was wearing strange clothes under a long white lab coat. Her eyes were a little harsh and demanding, but nothing like Madara's.

"Ah, so you're awake?" she asked. "Good, for a moment we thought we might have lost you."

I tried to sit up, but my muscles didn't want to respond. I grimaced and tried again. My limbs shook violently as I tried to force myself off the bed, but they didn't respond. It was almost as if I had minor chakra exhaustion while wearing Gai's extreme training weights. I felt a hand hit my head gently in a reprimanding position.

"No moving," the woman said, sternly. "After all the time it took to grow those new limbs for you, I don't want you tearing them off."

I paused. New limbs? I searched my mind until I was sure of it. Somehow I didn't have Zetsu flesh attached to my body. My right side felt complete again; as in it was made of entirely human flesh, not Hashirama's cells.

"Wha?" I croaked, my vision slowly sharpening until I could see semi-clearly again. "Where…where am…I?"

"Shinto Teito Hospital," the woman said, dragging what sounded like a chair over to my bed. "MBI owns this facility, so you're getting the best treatment money can buy…but don't worry, you won't have to pay thanks to us testing that experimental treatment on you."

I would have scowled at her, but I couldn't really move well. And I was no stranger to experimental medical treatments, Madara-sam…_Madara_ had done plenty of them on me when he found me crushed under the rocks.

"How long?" I asked.

"Sorry?" she asked.

"How long until I'm able to move properly?" I asked.

"A few hours at most," she said. "You heal very quickly…?"

"Tobi," I said. "Call me Tobi."

I didn't want anyone to know who I was until I found out what in Kami's name was going on here. Shinto Teito? I had never heard of any place like that from Zetsu or any other members of Akatsuki. Had I been kidnapped by this woman? No, I didn't sense any chakra from her, but I did feel a lot of it coming from a person down the hall.

"Well then Tobi-san," she said. "My team is on standby in case you need anything."

"Thank you," I said simply, closing my eyes.

"You should be able to see clearly in the morning," she said. "And by the way…that's a very interesting eye mutation you have."

"Eye mutation?" I asked.

"The eyes we cloned for you were red blood red with designs on them when they came out of the cloner," she said. "Don't worry, it looks like we just made a mistake in copying the DNA over. Your body's already corrected the mistake. Get some sleep and I'll have someone check on you in the morning."

The door shut, leaving me all alone in the hospital room. My mind was running a mile a minute from what she said. Cloned eyes? Red eyes with designs? Sharingan? Did I…did I have _both_ of my Sharingan back? I built up a little burst of chakra in my eye sockets and pushed it forwards. My blurry eyesight sharpened as if a film of grime had been washed from them. I could see everything in the tiniest details. More so, I could judge distances naturally again! I really did have both my eyes back! I turned my head to the window and stared out at the window at the skyline. Wherever this place was, it reminded me of Amegakure. There were tall skyscrapers as far as I could see, but there was no rain here. I pushed a bit more chakra to my eyes and activated my Mangekyō Sharingan. To my surprise, my vision wasn't strained at all. Perhaps the eye transplant with my own cloned Sharingan had allowed for the Eternal Mangekyō to manifest itself? I was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I simply deactivated my Sharingan altogether and stared up at the ceiling.

Suddenly the door banged open and someone charged in. I readied a genjutsu in case of an assassin, but what I saw next shocked me to the core.

"Whew, un," said the man who had just charged into my room and slammed the door shut behind him. "That was close."

"D-D-Deidara?" I stammered.

"Yeah, yeah?" the bomber asked, turning to face me. He was wearing a blue hospital gown like I was, with bandages wrapped around his palms. And as far as I could see, he wasn't an Edo Tensei. "Hey, how do you know my name?"

I swallowed and thought fast. Even if Deidara used to be my partner, I didn't fully trust him with the secret of my identity. Letting him see my face was worse enough, letting him know who I really was…I wasn't going to even allow myself the possibility to think about it.

"Really?" I asked in a squeaky voice. "That hurts that you don't remember me…Deidara-sempai!"

The bomber's visible eye shot open and he started stammering as he pointed at me, disbelievingly. Then he did the unexpected…he started banging his head against the wall.

"WHY?!" he screamed.

"What's wrong, sempai?" I asked, slipping into my fake Tobi persona. "Is sempai mad at Tobi? Did Tobi do something wrong? Ah! Wait, don't be mad, Deidara-sempai! Tobi is a good boy!"

"Shut up, un!" he snapped at me. "Dammit, the only way this could get worse is if Hidan were here."

Cut to Hidan POV:

"ACHOO!" I sneezed hard, causing dust to rattle around the hole and get in my eyes. "FUCK! THAT JASHIN-DAMN HURTS!"

And We're Back to Tobito:

"Yeah, Hidan-sempai's loud," I laughed. "But how did you get here, sempai? Last I heard, you died."

"Wait, then you didn't get killed by my ultimate art?" Deidara said, grabbing the footboard of my bed.

"Nope!" I chirped. "Tobi did as sempai told him and ran away! Because Tobi is a-GAAAK!"

Before I could even hope to finish the sentence I felt Deidara's hands around my neck, choking the life out of me.

"Shut up, baka! This is probably your fault that we're stuck here!" he yelled. "Dammit, why the hell did I have to come here, yeah? I wish I _had _died in my ultimate art! Then I wouldn't be stuck here with you!"

"Gaaack! Sempai!" I squeaked. "You're choking me!"

With a huff, he let go and stormed over to the window. "So we're stuck here for now, un," he muttered. "And I can't get to my detonating clay to get out of here."

He turned to me and gave me a flat look. "As much as I hate to ask, Tobi," he said, "can you teleport us out of here with that eye jutsu of yours?"

"Sorry, Sempai," I sniffed. "I don't have enough chakra for it to work. And I'm hurt too."

He sighed and facepalmed. "I guess there's no helping it, yeah," he sighed as he disconnected me from the machines and helped me up. "We're going to find my clay and turn this place into art. Then we're going home, un."

Deidara POV

I hate the universe _so _much right now. Not only am I stuck in this weird place with no clay, but I'm stuck with _TOBI_ of all people. Not to mention that he couldn't use his eye jutsu to get us out of this stupid hospital. But once I got my clay back, that wouldn't be much of a problem, now would it?

"Come on, hmm," I said as I helped Tobi to the door.

"Sempai! You really care about Tobi!" the moron sniffed as he limped alongside me. "Wait, Sempai…how did you not get blown up by your ultimate art?"

I blinked. After waking up from that sedative I got in the park, I hadn't given it much thought. I was just focused on getting my clay.

"I'm not really sure," I admitted, dragging Tobi down the hallway. "One moment, I'm about to kill Itachi's younger brother with my ultimate art…next I think he used a summoning jutsu and I felt like I was being sucked into your eye again, hmm. Then I wake up in a crater in the middle of some park then I'm here."

"Hmm, that's odd," Tobi said. "Very odd indeed."

For a moment I thought his voice had gotten deeper, but them he started babbling about how hungry he was and that he wanted dango. _Fucking lollipop,_ I thought to myself. _Oh, crap…now I sound like Hidan._

"Wait a minute, Sempai," Tobi said, pointing to a door on our right. "Listen!"

I looked towards the door and realized that there was some noise coming from behind it. It was open a crack and then I could hear the sounds of two people talking. It sounded like two girls on the other side.

"So there was only one survivor from that bomb earlier?" asked one voice in a high-pitched voice.

"Yeah, that's what they're saying," said a lazier, almost bored voice. "I saw him earlier, he looks like a girl."

"You mean like a bishonen?"

"No, I mean he actually looked like a girl," said the lazy one. "One of the doctors tried to get him in the hospital gown and freaked out when he took off the guy's pants. Honestly, I think he's a transvestite."

"Huh?" I could feel my eyebrows shoot up.

Tobi snorted and then covered his mouth stifling his laugh.

"I heard that number eighty-eight nearly killed a guy this morning during her adjustments," said the annoyingly high pitched once. "He looked like he had been through a blender."

"Keh, humans are weak," said the lazy voice.

"Sempai, they're saying mean things about Tobi!" he whined. But I didn't hear him.

"_I…am not…a…__**WOMAN**__!"_ I yelled as I kicked down the door and threw Tobi inside ahead of me to test for hidden traps.

Inside were two girls who looked to be a few years younger than me. They were wearing similar clothes, a black kimono with a bird design, although one of them was tattered so bad that it looked like hers had been through the Zombies on a bad day. One had pink-red hair with two clips in it, the other had messy silver hair that hung around her eyes. But what drew my attention the most were the two pouches of detonating clay on the table in between them.

"Owww, sempaiiii!" Tobi whined as he picked himself up. "Oh, look Deidara-sempai, it's your clay!"

"Alright, un!" I grinned, doing a quick shunshin over to it and buckling it around my waist.

"What the hell?" the pink haired one exclaimed, identifying her as the loud one. "Who the hell are you guys?"

"Tobi! We're getting out of here, yeah!" I said, plunging my hands into the clay and starting to mold my chakra into it.

"You got it, sempai!" he said as the pink haired one reached for him. "Oh?"

I thought I saw his eyes turn red for a moment before the girl fell through him as he activated his jutsu.

"Hooray, Tobi has his charka again!" he jumped around, clapping his hands wildly.

"Grrr! Haihane!" yelled the pink haired one as she got up and swung at me. "Get the other one…Blondie's mine!"

"Real cute," I smirked and opened my hands, spitting up the single C1 explosive I had just made and throwing it at her. "But you'll have to do better than that!"

"KATSU!"

The blast was magnificent, ripping apart the entire room and knocking out the wall behind us. Tobi just turned intangible and let it roll right through him. I just stood in the safe zone and reveled in the beauty of true art.

"Wow, Sempai," Tobi said, looking out the hole in the wall. "We sure are high up."

"Quiet, un," I said as the rubble behind us moved. "Before I kick you out that window."

Coughing, the pink haired one dug herself out of the wreckage. "You…" she growled, "you ruined my shirt!"

She was holding her arm sideways across her chest to hide her boobs, which were smaller than that pink-haired girl that had killed Sasori no Danna. I snorted as Tobi tugged on my arm.

"Ne, Deidara-Sempai," he said giggled, pointing at the girl. "That one sounds like a girl, but looks like a man! He could be your brother!"

"WHAT/UN!?" the two of us screamed.

"Well, Sempai sounds like a man, but he looks like a girl," he said, ticking off the reasons on his fingers. "And this guy sounds like a girl but looks like a man, so Tobi thought that."

"TOBI SHUT UP RIGHT NOW OR I'LL BLOW YOUR ASS TO KINGDOM COME, YEAH!" I shouted, slamming him in the head before strangling him before he could finish his sentence.

"WHY YOU!" yelled the pink-haired girl as she lunged at my idiot partner, moving faster than most shinobi could on a good day.

"Huh-MMPH?" Tobi asked as he turned towards her. To my utter enjoyment, the moron turned right into the path of her face and got a good kiss on the lips.

"Heh, serves you right, Tobi," I grinned.

Suddenly, the room lit up with brilliant pink light. A weird symbol emerged from the girl's back, some kind of bird with a yin-yang circle. A millisecond after the symbol formed, six beams of light shot out from the back of her neck, extending like a series of wings.

"Whoa, yeah," I said, looking at them.

"No…" the girl whispered as she pulled away from Tobi's face, her own expression one of horror. "Not like this…"

"Sempaaaaaai!" Tobi squealed as he scrambled backwards. "This girl is scaring Tobi! Let's get out of here!"

"Right!" I said, forming a bigger clay bird and expanding it. "Let's go!"

We both hopped on it and I maneuvered it out into open air.

"What are we going to do now?" Tobi asked.

"First off, we need some new clothes," I said, looking at the hospital gown that Tobi and I were wearing. "Then we're going to find out where the hell we are, un!"

"Sempai's so smart!" the idiot sniffed as he gave me what most members of Akatsuki had dubbed "the Tobi glomp." Heck, even Hidan and Kakuzu freaked out when he did it to them (okay, Kakuzu just punched him away, but Hidan freaked out and wouldn't stop cursing until you got the moron off him).

"Get off me, yeah!" I said as I piloted the bird away. "Tobi, I will kick you off this bird if you don't get off me right now, un!"

"SEMPAAAAAAI!"

"KATSU!"

Kusano POV

I was scared.

I was standing in the middle of a hallway. I didn't know which hallway, but it was scary and dark.

And it was wet.

The floor was covered in some kind of strange red water, trails of it led down the hallway into the darkness from a few lumps that were scattered around the hall. I looked left and right, shivering a little as a cold draft blew down from behind me. I could hear a faint sound from down the hallway. It sounded like someone was laughing.

"H-hello?" I asked the darkness, taking a few steps forward.

The laughter got louder and I could hear footsteps coming closer and closer. Now I realized that it wasn't a happy laugh…it was a scary one. I saw something move in the hallway in front of me, a large shape that was coming closer and closer, as the laugh got louder and louder.

"Wh-who's there?" I asked. "Takami-neechan? Musubi-neechan?"

"EEEYEAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! DIE, YOU IGNORANT HEATHENS! JASHIN-SAMA, LOOK AT ALL THE BLOOD I'VE SPILLED IN YOUR NAME! KEEYHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

There was a scream from another voice, the sound of something tearing, and then the laughter turned into a shriek of…what was it called again? How Takami-neechan called Number Four? Oh, insane! The shape moved into the light and I screamed. It was a man…he was wearing a ripped up coat with red clouds on it and he was carrying a big metal sharp-thing. He looked weird too, with silver hair that was slicked back and light pink eyes. But his face was what scared me…his smile…he was scarier than Number Four.

"P-please!" I said, falling back and scooting away. "Don't hurt me!"

The man's grin got even bigger as he walked forwards, his shoes squelching on the wet floor. I whimpered and curled up as I started crying, hoping that the plants would come and protect me from this man. He stopped right in front of me and knelt down so his head was right next to mine.

"Aww, come on!" he protested, tapping my head with his hand. "Oi, little bitch! Stop with the fucking waterworks, for Jashin's sake, sheesh, I didn't even do anything."

I looked up and he grinned even bigger. "There we go," he said, hefting his sharp thing over his shoulder. "It's so much more when they're screaming!"

I shrieked as he swung down, expecting for him to kill me. But the sharp-thing didn't even touch me. It hit one of those lumpy things that was leaking the red stuff. It made a strange sound, like it was gargling before bedtime and then stopped moving. The strange man laughed again before looking over his shoulder and sighing.

"Jashin dammit!" he said, picking up his sharp-thing. "Alright, alright, I'm coming, Pein-in-the-ass! Keep your fucking piercings on!"

"Who are you, oniichan?" I asked, standing up.

He looked over his shoulder, with an eyebrow raised. "Oniichan?" he asked. "Heh, and Kakuzu says I'm not good with brats."

He turned around and slung the sharp-thing over his back and shrugged with one shoulder. "Nice meeting you, little bitch," he said. "Fuck, I wouldn't mind seeing you again after this!"

With that, the entire world faded to black as I sat up. I was in my own bed in the lab.

"So it was all just a dream?" I asked, oniichan's words echoing in my head.

"Kuu-chan?" Takami-neechan poked her head into my room. "I thought I heard you screaming a little while ago. Did you have a bad dream?"

"Um, I don't think so," I said, rubbing my eyes as a question popped into my head. "Takami-neechan?"

"Yes?"

"What's a bitch?"

**Muhahahahahah! I'm evil aren't I? To recap! Deidara and Tobito have reunited at the MBI hospital, Obito has both his Sharingan again, Obito has winged Benitsubasa by accident and neither he nor Deidara know what the hell is going on. And little Kusano has just started reacting to our favorite immortal zealot! I foresee a lot of headaches coming on!**

**BTW, I tried to write Kusano in the way she would see the world. If it seems juvenile or unimaginative, now you know why. **

**AUTHOR QUESTION: SHOULD I ADD KAKUZU? TOBITO AND DEIDARA ARE PARTNERS AND IT DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT THAT HIDAN SHOULD BE WITHOUT HIS. SO I'M LEAVING IT UP TO YOU, MY LOYAL READERS. **

**If you have requests for the Akatsuki's Sekirei, leave them in a review. So far its:**

**ObitoxBenitsubasa**

**HidanxKusano (don't worry, Hidan's not going to pull an Orochimaru)**

**Deidarax?**

**I plan on having each of them have a flock of at least three, so tell me who you want to see end up with them!**

**MickDunD-Out!**


End file.
